Parental alienation is one of those issues that can quietly derail a case before anyone realises what’s happening.
And by the time it’s picked up properly, the damage is often already done.
I see it more often than I’d like.
Not because the law doesn’t provide a framework to deal with it.
But because that framework isn’t always being followed.
Let’s talk about that.
What’s actually going wrong?
In December 2024, the Family Justice Council introduced guidance designed to bring clarity and structure to cases involving alienating behaviour.
On paper, it’s exactly what’s needed.
A clear, practical roadmap for dealing with situations where a child shows reluctance, resistance, or refusal to spend time with a parent.
But here’s the reality.
That guidance is not being applied consistently.
And when that happens, cases drift.
They get delayed.
They become more expensive.
And most importantly, children are left in limbo for longer than they should be.
Why this matters more than you might think
This isn’t just about legal process. It’s about real families. Real children.
Real relationships that can be damaged further with every unnecessary delay.
I will always say that family law is not just about legal outcomes.
It’s about people’s lives.
When the correct procedure isn’t followed from the start, the court often has to backtrack later.
That can mean:
- Additional hearings that didn’t need to happen
- Reallocation of the case
- Delays in decision-making
- Repeat assessments (including Section 7 reports)
All of which could have been avoided.
Procedure matters (more than people realise)
There is a flowchart in the 2024 guidance.
And it’s there for a reason.
One of the key points is this:
If there are credible allegations of alienating behaviour that meet the required elements, the case should be allocated to a Judge.
Not Magistrates.
That early decision is crucial.
Because when cases are allocated incorrectly at the start, everything that follows becomes harder.
Slower. And more complicated.
I’ve seen cases reach advanced stages, only for the court to realise that a fact-finding hearing should have taken place much earlier.
That’s not just frustrating.
It’s avoidable.
If you’re making an allegation
Clarity is everything.
You need to set this out properly from the outset.
Be specific.
Explain clearly why you say alienating behaviour is taking place.
And link what you’re saying to the framework in the guidance.
This isn’t about using legal buzzwords.
It’s about helping the court understand, early on, what it is they’re dealing with.
Because if you get that right at the start, you reduce the risk of delay later.
If you’re responding to an allegation
This is where evidence becomes key.
It’s not enough to simply say “that’s not true.”
The court will need to understand why the allegation doesn’t meet the threshold.
And in many cases, there will be an overlap with domestic abuse.
That overlap must be handled carefully.
Because sometimes what is being labelled as alienation may, in fact, be a child responding to something very real.
This is why these cases require a thoughtful, evidence-based approach.
Not assumptions.
Let’s talk about the language shift
You may have noticed the move away from the term “parental alienation” towards “alienating behaviour.”
That’s not accidental.
And it’s not just semantics.
It shifts the focus back where it belongs.
On the child.
Not the label.
The real question is always this:
What is happening to the child as a result of this behaviour?
Is their reluctance rooted in influence or manipulation?
Or is there a genuine reason behind how they feel?
That’s what needs to be properly explored.
The issue with waiting too long
One of the biggest problems I see?
Key decisions being left too late.
Imagine preparing for months.
Working towards a final hearing.
Only for the court to then say:
“We need a fact-finding hearing.”
That means more delay.
More cost.
More emotional strain.
And more waiting for the child.
This is why early identification and proper handling of these issues is so important.
A calm but honest takeaway
This is one of those areas where getting it right early makes all the difference.
Not just legally. But emotionally. Practically. And financially.
Follow the guidance.
Be clear from the outset.
And don’t leave important issues sitting in the background, hoping they’ll resolve themselves.
Because they rarely do.
Final thoughts
If you’re navigating this, please know this:
You’re not expected to have all the answers.
This is complex.
It’s emotional.
And at times, it can feel overwhelming.
But with the right approach, and the right support, it can be managed properly.
Without unnecessary delay.
Without things spiralling.
And with your child’s wellbeing kept firmly at the centre.
For more support and guidance around divorce, separation, child arrangements (often described by the public as child custody), and the legal process, you can explore my free resources or access my membership for clear, structured support to help you navigate things calmly and protect what matters most.
